Does Excel Drive You to Drink?

After a long day of dealing with Excel formulas, pivot tables, and hidden Ribbon commands, you might be ready for an evening cocktail. Or six!

I found a link to this Canadian drinking study in the Toronto paper today, and it looks like we’re a nation of teetotalers. Is your country the same?

Apparently most Canadians don’t work with Excel, or perhaps they vent their frustrations on the hockey or curling rink at the end of the day.

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The Excel Drink Calculator

To spare you the agony of checking your results in a hard-to-read green pie chart, I created an Excel version of the online drink calculator.

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In cells C3 to C9, enter your estimated number of drinks per day. Then, select Men or Women from the drop down list in cell C12.

The VLOOKUP formula in cell C15 will compare your results to the rest of the men or women in Canada.

Hmmm…more than 85% – that can’t be good. Time to move, I think. ;-) What country would you recommend?

Download the Excel Drink Calculator

If you’re brave enough to test your own results, you can download the Excel Drink Calculator. It’s in Excel 2007 format, with no macros. Please do not operate heavy machinery, or leave a comment, if you have been drinking.

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11 Responses

  1. TheQ47 says:

    I can’t believe that 58% of Canadian women and 35% of men don’t drink!! In Ireland it’s 25% of women and 20% of men who abstain, according to a survey carried out in 2002. So move here. We’d love to have you!

    BTW, according to your Excel Drinking Calculator, I drink more than 98% of Canadian men!

  2. Ajay says:

    What’s up with the Canadians??? They don’t play football, don’t have a housing crisis and now they don’t even drink. Somebody please stop the world, I am getting off Canada…

  3. JP says:

    Does Excel count as heavy machinery?

  4. Bob Phillips says:

    In the UK they arrest you if you go out on a Saturday night and don’t get legless (and that includes the women).

    What constitues a drink? Is that one unit of alcohol (in the UK that is half an imperial pint of beer, 1/9th of a 70cl of normal strength wine, 1 measure of normal strength spirit), or just the drink. If so, I only have 15 drinks, 5 bottles of wine and 10 pints of a week.

  5. Ken Puls says:

    LOL! Bob, this won’t be perfect, but “a drink” would count as a bottle of beer, a 4oz glass of wine or 1oz of spirits. I’m not sure exactly how that compares to the UK unit, but I think it’s close.

    JP, I think Excel should count as heavy machinery, yes. Excelling and drinking isn’t right, although excelling at drinking… well… you should probably draw your own conclusion there. :p

  6. TheQ4y, I can’t believe it either! My ancestors arrived here from Ireland in the 1800s, so maybe it’s time to go back!
    Ajay, I don’t know what’s up. Maybe a housing crisis would lead to more drinking.
    JP, I see that Ken answered your question. If the workbook doesn’t have any complex formulas or code, it might be considered light machinery.
    Bob, legless? Never heard that expression, but I might have experienced it. And the online chart said 5 oz 10-12% wine, 12 oz 5% beer, or 1.5 oz 40% spirits.
    Ken, I suspect it’s the people at your end of the country who aren’t doing their share.

  7. Ken Puls says:

    Don’t think so Deb, Nanaimo is famous for it’s bars!

  8. Oscar says:

    It would be interesting to see an excel chart of life expectancy and alcohol consumption for a number of countries.

  9. Bob Phillips says:

    Well we all know the study that found that couples that drank a bottle of red wine each evening with dinner lived longer. Of course, the fact that people who cam afford a bottle of red wine with dinner are likely to be middle class,a nd the middle classes live longer because of better ;life-styles might have something to do with it.

  10. Sure Ken, you know that now! ;-)

    Oscar/Bob, here’s a chart that shows Life Expectancy vs. Alcohol Consumption by Country in 2003.
    And you can download an Excel file with the data.

  11. Ken Puls says:

    Well, I wasn’t in a Nanaimo bar last night… It was a Victoria bar. Just trying to do my share!

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