# Summer Giveaway For Excel Nerds

It’s time for an Excel giveaway! Just describe one of the telltale signs of Excel nerdery (is that a word?), and you could be the proud owner of a shiny new Excel book, e-book or utility.

To enter, write an original (and suitable for work!) comment below, completing the sentence, “You might be an Excel nerd if…”

For example, you might be an Excel nerd if:

- you’ve written 3 books on pivot tables.
- long-lost friends and relatives call you, not for money, but for Excel help.
- you understand Dave’s “accept labels” comment, that inspired this giveaway.

The submission deadline is **12:00 noon (EDT) on Tuesday, July 28, 2009**. Winners will be announced here on July 29th.

Update: Congratulations to all the Excel Nerds winners, listed in the July 29th blog post.

### The Goodies

Thanks to the generosity of some Excel authors and developers, and my publisher, I have a nice collection of books and utilities to give away.

#### JKP Application Development Services

From Jan Karel Pieterse, of JKP Application Development Services:

- one copy of Professional Excel Development
- one copy of Professional Excel Development, 2nd Edition
- one copy of Excel 2007 VBA Programming For Dummies
- one USB key (1 GB) with a set of tools like Name Manager and a free RefTreeAnalyser license

(4 copies of this prize are available)

#### The Ken Puls Blog

From Ken Puls, of The Ken Puls Blog:

- one copy of RibbonX: Customizing the Office 2007 Ribbon

#### Peltier Technical Services

From Jon Peltier, of Peltier Technical Services:

- one copy of a PTS Charting Utility – winner can select one from the following:

#### Apress Publishers

From my publisher, Apress, four prizes – **e-book versions** of Excel books:

- Pro Excel 2007 VBA, by Jim DeMarco
- Excel 2007: Beyond the Manual, by Helen Dixon
- Pro Excel Financial Modeling: Building Models for Technology Startups, by Tom Y. Sawyer
- Pro Office 2007 Development with VSTO, by Ty Anderson

(e-books)

#### Contextures

And finally, from Contextures – three prizes

- Beginning Pivot Tables in Excel 2007
- Excel 2007 PivotTables Recipes
- Excel Pivot Tables Recipe Book

### The Rules

- To enter, just write an original (and suitable for work!) comment below, completing the sentence, “You might be an Excel nerd if…”
- The comment must be submitted before the deadline of 12:00 noon (EDT) on Tuesday, July 28, 2009
- One entry per person – any additional entries will be deleted from the draw
- A random draw will select each prize and its winner. No substitution of prizes.
- Winners will be notified by email, so please provide a valid email address. This will not be publicly visible, but may be shared with the contest sponsors, so they can contact prize winners to arrange delivery.
- Physical prizes will be shipped, postage paid, but taxes or other charges (if any) will be the responsibility of the recipient.

______________

You might be an Excel nerd if the majority of your toolbar buttons are self-drawn.

You might be an Excel nerd if more than one of your Twitter and/or ‘friends’ anr Excel Nerds

You might be an Excel nerd if own a copy of a book authored by Debra Dalgleish

* I have written none but read at least 2 books on Pivot tables

* Long-lost friends call me, not for a beer or company, but for Excel help, ALL THE TIME!

* Dave’s comment flabbergasted me to, there can only be one Uber Excel Nerd I think

You might be an Excel nerd if the first thing you do when you turn your computer on is read all the Excel daily blogs and decided how you can use your new knowledge.

You might be an Excel nerd if…

* You assess romantic potential in a person based on their ability to create a pivot table in under 60 seconds

* You offered to produce a “best baby name” generator for your 9-month pregnant friend using formulae and tables in Excel

* You methodically (and lovingly) archived your old personal (home) budgets in Escel 2003 .xls after saving new copies in 2007 .xlsx format

vlookups are under your hobbies on facebook. wow.

You might be an excel nerd if you wife tells you your mistress is “Excelina”.

You might be an excel nerd =IF(ISERROR(INDEX(Nerd_List,MATCH(ME1,Excel_Users,0))),”Phew!”,”Ah!”)

Sorry…

Alastair… you’re my dream man!!!

if no one in the office knows your name but rather call you “Excel Guy” to your face.

Of course I am not participating in the prizes, but couldn’t resist:

You might be an Excel nerd if:

– You write VBA code that logs your wife’s contractions start and end times to keep score how much time they are apart

You might be an Excel nerd if you know at least two alternatives to VLOOKUP. Super nerd status is reserved for those who know three.

You might be an Excel nerd if Excel reminds you of your Wife and Childrens birthdays

and what gifts they got for the last 3 years

I’m not participating either, but like Jan Karel, I can’t resist.

You might be an Excel Nerd if your kids are named “Index” and “Match”.

You might be an Excel nerd if you spit out “65,536? before someone can finish asking you, “How many rows in a worksheet?”

Then when they ask you if that can be expanded, you fall out of your chair laughing (this was before the release of 2007 of course!)

you celebrated July 6, 2009 as a milestone day.

You might be an Excel nerd if you’re actually looking forward to reading one or more of the books in the give away.

Jan Karel –

And she’s still your wife??

Jason –

I still laugh even with 2007 available!

Thanks — you’re all cracking me up! And here’s one from Gabriela, who’s an email subscriber, so I’m posting her entry here:

‘=====================

You might be an Excel nerd like me if you dream you are wallpapering all your house with excel spreadsheets wallpaper and then write data on the walls and functions and expect to touch the wallpaper so that the function does the calculation….

I did dream this, fo real…sorry, guys! I am a girl and decorating is a must…

‘=====================

You might be an Excel nerd if you understand (and apreciate) those VBA error messages, like “Automation error”.

You might be an Excel nerd if you enjoy going to work everyday!

You might be an Excel nerd if you have more than 5 excel blogs in your RSS feed….

You might be an Excel nerd if your favorite video game is the flight simulator easter egg in Excel 97.

You might be an Excel nerd if you

ABSolutely MATCH every ADDRESS EXACTly when sitting in your CELL looking at the CEILING before you CHOOSE to CLEAN the FLOOR.

This behaviour has a LARGE EFFECT on your GROWTH, which is TRUE, EVEN IF ODD, when carried out each WEEKDAY OF each MONTH

Another non-participant…

…if your home page is: http://contextures.com/tiptech.html

Jon: Actually, that was a forum question from someone back in the Compuserve days

Roger: Nice one!

You might be an Excel nerd if you drive a car with XLNERD plates. Duh! :))

If you know more than 10 keyboard shortcut chains e.g., Alt+e+s+v

You might be an Excel nerd if when you look for games to play online, you look first for versions in Excel.

You night be an Excel nerd if you get excited about finding a valid use for circular references in your formulae. (…just found the timestamping article at Chandoo’s site. SO COOL.)

{Extra credit – if feel an urge to correct your coworkers’ plural of “formulas” when they instant-message you for help.}

Wohooo! Fell out of my chair laughing a few times. Mike Alexander: I really like that one! I qualify for a few of the above.

You must be an Excel nerd if a copy of Excel is always open so you can quickly calculate 7463/12 or whatever comes up during the work day.

You must be an Excel nerd if you list of add-ins is three screens long.

You use Match()& Index() instead of Vlookup().

You might be an Excel nerd if:

*You have a list of all your favorite authors books and then have data validation that removes them from the list as your purchase/read them.

*Same for your grocery list

*Your co-workers have just dubbed you “The Excel Empress”

*Your new kitten’s name is Macro

You might be an Excel nerd if:

You conjure up an array formula when not needed because it is fantastically cool and incomprehensible to others.

“You might be an Excel nerd if” you have a favorite Excel error.

(error 49 is almost poetic)

“You might be an Excel nerd if”… you read all 37 comments to Summer Giveaway For Excel Nerds. Oops – now 38.

“You might be an Excel nerd if” you have to make a hexeditor in Excel just to see if it is possible, and of course it was, as everything.

You might be an Excel nerd if you write a VBA macro to help you decide where to go for lunch.

You might be an Excel nerd if you have more than one version of Excel on your machine together with a copy of Lotus 123 for comparison

You might be an Excel nerd if you enter this comp twice …(or even trhee times)!!

You might be an Excel nerd if you used conditional formatting to personalize your wedding invitations.

You might be an Excel nerd if you, without thinking, start to reformat every spreadsheet on opening, even when the owner just wants you to look at one formula.

You might be an Excel nerd if:

. . . You subscribe to three or more Excel Forums and use a tabbed browser so you can be on-line at all of them at the same time

. . . It hurts to take a break because you’ll be away from your beloved Excel project

. . . you have at least two dog-earred Excel “Bibles”

. . . Using Excel is a “pleasurable” diversion from other important tasks

You might be an Excel nerd if you’ve hidden columns to spell your name with column headers. You probably are if you printscreened it. You are if the print is on your door and no one understands how beautiful it really is.

You might be an Excel nerd if you commit white colar crime so you can spend the rest of your life in a Cell wondering if your VBA color picker could change the Interior.Colorindex

You might be an excel nerd if you look over a colleague’s shoulder at an Excel model they have created, and no matter how proficient they are, you KNOW you could do it better.

You might be an Excel Nerd if you just bought not 1 but 2 of the I love Excel coffee mug from the Amazon advertising on the top of this site

You might be an Excel Nerd if you can create an addin that can bring back menus and toolbars in Excel 2007/10

You might be a Nerd Using Excel if

… using Indirect reminds you of programming in 8086 assembler Back In The Day if you tilt your head way over to the side and squint a bit

You might be an Excel Using Nerd if

… if you just can’t understand why your boss and co-workers don’t get as excited as you do when you tell them that using Indirect reminds you of in 8086 assembler Back In The Day if you tilt your head way over to the side and squint a bit

Having Debra Dalgleish picture as a screen saver and having your wife keep saying who’s that?

Talking in your sleep how Debra Dalgleish made a 2-4-6 ball break into the corner and side pockets on the Bullard table.

Having your wife finding you sitting on the john at 3 AM working on your laptop because you just figured out how to use one of Mike Alexander’s functions to do some work for the office in the morning.

Using Excel to figure out your lunch tab plus tip.

You might be an Excel nerd if you used Excel to figure out the exact day on which your wife had been married to you longer than she was single and you took her out to dinner to welcome her to the family.

You might be an Excel nerd if you compile Excel-themed tweets on a weekly basis :). Or if you read them religiously.

You might be an Excel nerd if you rejoice sending your boss a worksheet plagued with nested functions simply because he is excelblind.

You might be an Excel nerd if you wrote this contest entry in Excel and posted using SendKeys…

You might be an Excel Nerd if you write IDE’s for other programming languages in Excel using VBA and conditional formatting.

You might be an Excel Nerd if you impressed your travel agent by already having a cataloged database of all 150+ Sandals resorts including price quotes, descriptions, and pictures.

You might REALLY be an Excel Nerd if you used that database to plan your honeymoon.

You ARE an Excel Nerd if your fiance was able to use the database to decide on a honeymoon destination!

if…you still say “at” before Excel worksheet functions. @SUM, @VLOOKUP, @IF

You might be an Excel Nerd if you spend all day googling for excel sites

You might be an Excel nerd if you alert your doctor to your “Daily Dose of Excel” as part of your list of medications.

You might be an Excel nerd if you spend Friday night entering contests on XL blogs.

You might be an Excel nerd if…

You are the only one in your office that can use a spreadsheet you created because you used YEARFRAC and are the only one that has installed the analysis toolpak.

(Is that a giant run-on sentence…oh well, Excel nerds are better with spreadsheet structure vs. sentence structure.)

I know the prizes are selected randomly, but can I vote for Jake’s medication post as “best in class”?

P.S. Are you an Excel nerd if you use an Excel random number generator to select the winner for the Excel Nerd contest?

You might be an Excel nerd, if you always wear Ribbons – party or not :-)

You might be an Excel nerd, if you’re still waiting for the 65536 x 256 – 1 sequels to the movie, “The Cell”.

You might be an Excel nerd, if your favorite actor is Val(Kilmer).

You might be an Excel nerd, if your household finances are run as Macro economy!

You might be an Excel nerd, if you always does! (Hope this one wasn’t too tricky :-)

You might be an Excel nerd, if you have a shoutcut to Excel in your “Startup” program group!

(Maybe I should change this one to: “You’re DEFINATELY an Excel nerd, if…”)

You might be an Excel nerd, if you’re convinced that the beginning of time was 01.01.1900!

You might be an Excel nerd, if you’re considering suing Obama for stealing the slogan, “Yes we can”, from your VBA courses!!!

You might be an Excel nerd, if your wardrope only contains clothes in 54 different color indexes!

(Well, I could go on like this from ever, but if I win, I’ll promise to make a looooong list :-)

You might be an Excel nerd if you spend 20 minutes writing a VBA procedure to do something you could have done by hand in 2 minutes and don’t think that was a waste of time.

You might be an Excel nerd if

… you deliberately send a softcopy of an analysis – not to inform, but to intimidate

… you almost cannot function on someone else’s computer without your extensively customized toolbars (pre XL07, of course)

… you almost cannot function on XL07

… you participate on help forums, but don’t bother to help on many questions because they just won’t be interesting enough

… you are baffled when co-workers don’t understand your references to Walkenbach, Peltier, Pieterse, or Bullen when discussing an Excel problem

Oh, come on – what do we mean

mightbe?You might be an Excel nerd if excel is yout favorite query on google; youtube;yahoo; and if you can make pivot table without using your mouse but onley with your keyboard!

=CHAR(89) & CHAR(111) & CHAR(117) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(109) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(103) & CHAR(104) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(98) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(97) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(69) & CHAR(120) & CHAR(99) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(108) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(114) & CHAR(100) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(102) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(121) & CHAR(111) & CHAR(117) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(99) & CHAR(97) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(114) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(97) & CHAR(100) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(104) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(115) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(119) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(104) & CHAR(111) & CHAR(117) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(114) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(103) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(97) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(99) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(108) & CHAR(108) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(102) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(114) & CHAR(115) & CHAR(116)

You might be an Excel Nerd if you prefer being called “Excel Guru” rather than your name!

@Hamilton:

I much prefer Excel Ninja :)

You might be an Excel nerd if you use one line “for each…next” code in the immediate window.

Hi all,

Long time lurker here.

You might be an excel nerd if you see your colleagues’ spreadsheets and thinks…”hmmph…what an amateur”.

You might be an Excel nerd if you already own a copy of all of the books and utilities offered here as contest giveaways.

You might be an Excel nerd if you read more Excel books than your spouse read novels.

You might be an Excel nerd if the first thing you pack for your 3 week Caribbean vacation is your vast collection of Excel books and utilities.

You might be an Excel nerd if at 1:00 a.m. you camp out at your local bookstore so that you can be first in line to own the just released copy of Excel 2010 PivotTables Recipes.

You might be an Excel nerd if you sign all your wife’s birthday and Christmas cards “Love from your one and only Excel Sweetie.”

You might be an Excel nerd if your kids are named Walkenbach, Dalgleish, Peltier, Kusleika, Alexander, Gelder, Bullen, Jelen, Bovey, Pieterse, and Pope (so far).

You might be an Excel nerd if you sell your Porsche to attend a Peltier/Alexander boot camp.

You might be an Excel nerd if you own every book written for Excel, dating back to Excel v2.0.

You might be an Excel nerd if you devote the rest of your life to ensure that your kids attain the status of Excel MVP.

You might be an Excel nerd if you engrave your 25th anniversary present to your spouse “Love always to you…and Excel.”

You might be an Excel nerd if you donate your entire lottery windfall to the Excel development team.

You might be an Excel nerd if you devote an entire room in your house for Excel memorabilia.

You might be an Excel nerd if you can recall the names of all the developers who worked on Excel v2.0.

You might be an Excel nerd if you’ve an apologist for Microsoft every time they screw up something in a new release of Excel.

You might be an Excel nerd (not to mention single) if you skipped your last wedding anniversary celebration to attend the Excel MVP summit.

You might be an Excel nerd if your Windows wallpaper is created in Excel and set up to export and update the image daily.

You might be an Excel nerd if…

when you’re bored you write a bitmap to ActiveSheet renderer…

…

‘I could do it in Excel’ – what was the question again?

if you leave a comment just to be in the running for cool Excel prizes.

You might be an Excel nerd if you consider MS Acces to be an Excel-addon to overcome the 65536-rows issue.

You might be an Excel nerd if you think that buying the second edition of Professional Excel Development as soon as it comes out for your wife makes a good present.

You might be an Excel nerd if you don’t need any of those books!

You might be an Excel Nerd if Excel is the olny part of MS Office installed

You might be an Excel nerd if:

.. you are not interested in the post-processing capacities of your engineering software, as – by default – you will export your results as raw data and write a custom add-in for processing and visualisation.

You might be an Excel nerd if:

.. you worry that some terrible accident has happened to your favourite MVP when his/her blog is not updated for days without prior notice

.. your write him/her an email expressing your concern and wishing him/her the best of health and quick recovery

.. you receive a kind reply not to worry….

.. you are terrible honoured by this reply and boast around about your contact with the well-known Excel MVP

You might be an Excel nerd if:

.. you used Excel to calculate the exact day on which your family – that is: summed ages of all family members – equals 100 years old.

You might be an older Excel nerd if:

.. you used Excel to calculate the exact day on which your family – that is: summed ages of all family members – equals 200 years old.

You might be an Excel nerd if:

.. you know exactly how (in Excel) *you* would filter the multiple entries in this contest before making the draw

You might be an Excel nerd if you view the drive home from work as an inconvenient disruption in your Excel productivity.

You might be an Excel nerd if you’ve created a Google Custom Search called ‘My Excel Search’.

You might be an Excel nerd if you’d rather ‘Right Click > Export to Microsoft Excel’ than read it in Internet Explorer*

(*even if your ‘IT’ department allows you to install Firefox)

You might be an Excel nerd if:

in a software company of over 3000 employees, you’re known as the Excel Macro Guy.

You are an excel nerd if your wife refers to it as the ‘other’ woman in your life and your dog gives you dirty looks everytime you open a spreadsheet!

You might be an Excel nerd if you keep Excel 2003 around by choice because of the charting capabilities and can explain why. Bonus points if you’ve written a blog article about it…

You might be an Excel nerd if you view Excel as your software development platform of choice.

I recently received an email from a “you know you are a redneck” daily calendar which said, you know you are a redneck if the name of your children are after Dallas Cowboys. Mine are (Landry and Lilly) so in that same vain.

You know you are an Excel geek if you name your children after Excel functions. Some of my favorite might be:

LEN

MINA (pronounced MEENA similar to Tina)

ACOS

HARMEAN

RAND

COSH

DELTA

ABS

and maybe the best…

ERF

You might be an Excel nerd if your work won’t allow you to install games, so you write your own in Excel.

You might be an Excel nerd if your bedding material has a 1,048,576 by 16,385 grid printed on it and your name in the A1 cell.

You might be an Excel nerd if you’re *really* attracted to that special someone because “her Excel skills rock…”

You might be an Excel nerd if you’ve set up a ‘game of life’ simulation in Excel… then expanded the formulas to see just how large to can make it before it crashes.

You might be an Excel nerd if you can decode the key sequence: Shift+Space Ctrl+C Up Ctrl++ Alt+E,S,V Shift+Down Alt+O,D.

You might be an Excel nerd if you have an A3 page on your wall, printed in size 4 font, a comprehensive matrix of all keyboard shortcuts in Excel03/07.

You might are definately an Excel nerd if you see the real challenge in Sudoku’s as being able to code a solver in Excel.

You might be an Excel nerd if your spouse enters a contest boasting about your Excel skills.

#71

what about if you took the effort to put it in a cell becuase you’re so tickled about the entries you can’t even miss the one?

You’re an excel nerd if you tend to get cross with colleages that omit ,0 from their index(match(,,))

You might be an excel nerd if you consider creating your own personal finance software in excel to be not only preferrable to using quicken, but a crowning personal acheivement.

You might be an Excel nerd if your class-based error handling is 10x as complex as your application code because of your fear of VBA memory leaks…

You might be an excel nerd if Daily Dose of Excel is your browser’s home page.

The deadline has passed, and I’m now compiling the lists for the random draw. (You can still add comments — but they won’t be entered in the draw.)

Thanks for all the entries — I’ve never felt nerdier!

And I’m still laughing.

Check here tomorrow, July 29th, for the giveaway winners.