Summer Giveaway For Excel Nerds

It’s time for an Excel giveaway! Just describe one of the telltale signs of Excel nerdery (is that a word?), and you could be the proud owner of a shiny new Excel book, e-book or utility.

To enter, write an original (and suitable for work!) comment below, completing the sentence, “You might be an Excel nerd if…”

For example, you might be an Excel nerd if:

  • you’ve written 3 books on pivot tables.
  • long-lost friends and relatives call you, not for money, but for Excel help.
  • you understand Dave’s “accept labels” comment, that inspired this giveaway.

The submission deadline is 12:00 noon (EDT) on Tuesday, July 28, 2009. Winners will be announced here on July 29th.

Update: Congratulations to all the Excel Nerds winners, listed in the July 29th blog post.

The Goodies

Thanks to the generosity of some Excel authors and developers, and my publisher, I have a nice collection of books and utilities to give away.

JKP Application Development Services

From Jan Karel Pieterse, of JKP Application Development Services:

ProExcel1 ProExcel2 VBA2007Dummies jkpDrive

The Ken Puls Blog

From Ken Puls, of The Ken Puls Blog:

RibbonX

Peltier Technical Services

From Jon Peltier, of Peltier Technical Services:

ptstilemekko ptstileboxplot ptstilecluster ptstilewaterfall

Apress Publishers

From my publisher, Apress, four prizes – e-book versions of Excel books:

(e-books)

ProExcelVBA Excel2007BTM ProExcelFinMod ProOfficeVSTO

Contextures

And finally, from Contextures – three prizes

  • Beginning Pivot Tables in Excel 2007
  • Excel 2007 PivotTables Recipes
  • Excel Pivot Tables Recipe Book

BeginPT_2007 PTRec2007 PTRec

The Rules

  • To enter, just write an original (and suitable for work!) comment below, completing the sentence, “You might be an Excel nerd if…”
  • The comment must be submitted before the deadline of 12:00 noon (EDT) on Tuesday, July 28, 2009
  • One entry per person – any additional entries will be deleted from the draw
  • A random draw will select each prize and its winner. No substitution of prizes.
  • Winners will be notified by email, so please provide a valid email address. This will not be publicly visible, but may be shared with the contest sponsors, so they can contact prize winners to arrange delivery.
  • Physical prizes will be shipped, postage paid, but taxes or other charges (if any) will be the responsibility of the recipient.

______________

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106 Responses

  1. Grigori Shevchenko says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if the majority of your toolbar buttons are self-drawn.

  2. Tony Huby says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if more than one of your Twitter and/or ‘friends’ anr Excel Nerds

  3. Kurt Trinko says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if own a copy of a book authored by Debra Dalgleish

  4. govi says:

    * I have written none but read at least 2 books on Pivot tables
    * Long-lost friends call me, not for a beer or company, but for Excel help, ALL THE TIME!
    * Dave’s comment flabbergasted me to, there can only be one Uber Excel Nerd I think

  5. Christine McManus says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if the first thing you do when you turn your computer on is read all the Excel daily blogs and decided how you can use your new knowledge.

  6. Viv says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if…
    * You assess romantic potential in a person based on their ability to create a pivot table in under 60 seconds
    * You offered to produce a “best baby name” generator for your 9-month pregnant friend using formulae and tables in Excel
    * You methodically (and lovingly) archived your old personal (home) budgets in Escel 2003 .xls after saving new copies in 2007 .xlsx format

  7. Jamie says:

    vlookups are under your hobbies on facebook. wow.

  8. Andy Post says:

    You might be an excel nerd if you wife tells you your mistress is “Excelina”.

  9. Alastair says:

    You might be an excel nerd =IF(ISERROR(INDEX(Nerd_List,MATCH(ME1,Excel_Users,0))),”Phew!”,”Ah!”)

    Sorry…

  10. Viv says:

    Alastair… you’re my dream man!!!

  11. Michael says:

    if no one in the office knows your name but rather call you “Excel Guy” to your face.

  12. Of course I am not participating in the prizes, but couldn’t resist:
    You might be an Excel nerd if:
    – You write VBA code that logs your wife’s contractions start and end times to keep score how much time they are apart

  13. JP says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you know at least two alternatives to VLOOKUP. Super nerd status is reserved for those who know three.

  14. Hui... says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if Excel reminds you of your Wife and Childrens birthdays
    and what gifts they got for the last 3 years

  15. I’m not participating either, but like Jan Karel, I can’t resist.

    You might be an Excel Nerd if your kids are named “Index” and “Match”.

  16. Jason Morin says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you spit out “65,536? before someone can finish asking you, “How many rows in a worksheet?”

    Then when they ask you if that can be expanded, you fall out of your chair laughing (this was before the release of 2007 of course!)

  17. Harry says:

    you celebrated July 6, 2009 as a milestone day.

  18. AnnaLisa Lawson says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you’re actually looking forward to reading one or more of the books in the give away.

  19. Jon Peltier says:

    Jan Karel –

    And she’s still your wife??

  20. Jon Peltier says:

    Jason –

    I still laugh even with 2007 available!

  21. Thanks — you’re all cracking me up! And here’s one from Gabriela, who’s an email subscriber, so I’m posting her entry here:
    ‘=====================
    You might be an Excel nerd like me if you dream you are wallpapering all your house with excel spreadsheets wallpaper and then write data on the walls and functions and expect to touch the wallpaper so that the function does the calculation….
    I did dream this, fo real…sorry, guys! I am a girl and decorating is a must…
    ‘=====================

  22. L. Quezada says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you understand (and apreciate) those VBA error messages, like “Automation error”.

  23. Blayne says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you enjoy going to work everyday!

  24. CraigM says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you have more than 5 excel blogs in your RSS feed….

  25. Dean says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if your favorite video game is the flight simulator easter egg in Excel 97.

  26. Roger Govier says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you
    ABSolutely MATCH every ADDRESS EXACTly when sitting in your CELL looking at the CEILING before you CHOOSE to CLEAN the FLOOR.
    This behaviour has a LARGE EFFECT on your GROWTH, which is TRUE, EVEN IF ODD, when carried out each WEEKDAY OF each MONTH

  27. Dave says:

    Another non-participant…

    …if your home page is: http://contextures.com/tiptech.html

  28. Jon: Actually, that was a forum question from someone back in the Compuserve days
    Roger: Nice one!

  29. Biff says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you drive a car with XLNERD plates. Duh! :))

  30. Sridhar Baldava says:

    If you know more than 10 keyboard shortcut chains e.g., Alt+e+s+v

  31. Jayson says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if when you look for games to play online, you look first for versions in Excel.

  32. Brian S says:

    You night be an Excel nerd if you get excited about finding a valid use for circular references in your formulae. (…just found the timestamping article at Chandoo’s site. SO COOL.)

    {Extra credit – if feel an urge to correct your coworkers’ plural of “formulas” when they instant-message you for help.}

  33. teylyn says:

    Wohooo! Fell out of my chair laughing a few times. Mike Alexander: I really like that one! I qualify for a few of the above.

    You must be an Excel nerd if a copy of Excel is always open so you can quickly calculate 7463/12 or whatever comes up during the work day.

    You must be an Excel nerd if you list of add-ins is three screens long.

  34. Doug says:

    You use Match()& Index() instead of Vlookup().

  35. Trixie says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if:
    *You have a list of all your favorite authors books and then have data validation that removes them from the list as your purchase/read them.
    *Same for your grocery list
    *Your co-workers have just dubbed you “The Excel Empress”
    *Your new kitten’s name is Macro

  36. Andy Holaday says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if:
    You conjure up an array formula when not needed because it is fantastically cool and incomprehensible to others.

  37. Jim Cone says:

    “You might be an Excel nerd if” you have a favorite Excel error.
    (error 49 is almost poetic)

  38. AlexJ says:

    “You might be an Excel nerd if”… you read all 37 comments to Summer Giveaway For Excel Nerds. Oops – now 38.

  39. Roger says:

    “You might be an Excel nerd if” you have to make a hexeditor in Excel just to see if it is possible, and of course it was, as everything.

  40. dewey1973 says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you write a VBA macro to help you decide where to go for lunch.

  41. Tony Huby says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you have more than one version of Excel on your machine together with a copy of Lotus 123 for comparison

  42. Tony Huby says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you enter this comp twice …(or even trhee times)!!

  43. Dan says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you used conditional formatting to personalize your wedding invitations.

  44. cg says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you, without thinking, start to reformat every spreadsheet on opening, even when the owner just wants you to look at one formula.

  45. Ron says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if:
    . . . You subscribe to three or more Excel Forums and use a tabbed browser so you can be on-line at all of them at the same time
    . . . It hurts to take a break because you’ll be away from your beloved Excel project
    . . . you have at least two dog-earred Excel “Bibles”
    . . . Using Excel is a “pleasurable” diversion from other important tasks

  46. Harald Staff says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you’ve hidden columns to spell your name with column headers. You probably are if you printscreened it. You are if the print is on your door and no one understands how beautiful it really is.

  47. Tim Buckingham says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you commit white colar crime so you can spend the rest of your life in a Cell wondering if your VBA color picker could change the Interior.Colorindex

  48. David Coop says:

    You might be an excel nerd if you look over a colleague’s shoulder at an Excel model they have created, and no matter how proficient they are, you KNOW you could do it better.

  49. Tim Buckingham says:

    You might be an Excel Nerd if you just bought not 1 but 2 of the I love Excel coffee mug from the Amazon advertising on the top of this site

  50. sam says:

    You might be an Excel Nerd if you can create an addin that can bring back menus and toolbars in Excel 2007/10

  51. CO says:

    You might be a Nerd Using Excel if
    … using Indirect reminds you of programming in 8086 assembler Back In The Day if you tilt your head way over to the side and squint a bit

    You might be an Excel Using Nerd if
    … if you just can’t understand why your boss and co-workers don’t get as excited as you do when you tell them that using Indirect reminds you of in 8086 assembler Back In The Day if you tilt your head way over to the side and squint a bit

  52. Frederick Chidester says:

    Having Debra Dalgleish picture as a screen saver and having your wife keep saying who’s that?

  53. Frederick Chidester says:

    Talking in your sleep how Debra Dalgleish made a 2-4-6 ball break into the corner and side pockets on the Bullard table.

  54. Frederick Chidester says:

    Having your wife finding you sitting on the john at 3 AM working on your laptop because you just figured out how to use one of Mike Alexander’s functions to do some work for the office in the morning.

  55. Frederick Chidester says:

    Using Excel to figure out your lunch tab plus tip.

  56. Rod Apfelbeck says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you used Excel to figure out the exact day on which your wife had been married to you longer than she was single and you took her out to dinner to welcome her to the family.

  57. Doug Glancy says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you compile Excel-themed tweets on a weekly basis :). Or if you read them religiously.

  58. Pablo says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you rejoice sending your boss a worksheet plagued with nested functions simply because he is excelblind.

  59. Brett says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you wrote this contest entry in Excel and posted using SendKeys…

    You might be an Excel Nerd if you write IDE’s for other programming languages in Excel using VBA and conditional formatting.

  60. Brett says:

    You might be an Excel Nerd if you impressed your travel agent by already having a cataloged database of all 150+ Sandals resorts including price quotes, descriptions, and pictures.

    You might REALLY be an Excel Nerd if you used that database to plan your honeymoon.

    You ARE an Excel Nerd if your fiance was able to use the database to decide on a honeymoon destination!

  61. if…you still say “at” before Excel worksheet functions. @SUM, @VLOOKUP, @IF

  62. JIM H says:

    You might be an Excel Nerd if you spend all day googling for excel sites

  63. Jake says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you alert your doctor to your “Daily Dose of Excel” as part of your list of medications.

  64. Patrick says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you spend Friday night entering contests on XL blogs.

  65. Mike M. says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if…

    You are the only one in your office that can use a spreadsheet you created because you used YEARFRAC and are the only one that has installed the analysis toolpak.

    (Is that a giant run-on sentence…oh well, Excel nerds are better with spreadsheet structure vs. sentence structure.)

  66. AlexJ says:

    I know the prizes are selected randomly, but can I vote for Jake’s medication post as “best in class”?

    P.S. Are you an Excel nerd if you use an Excel random number generator to select the winner for the Excel Nerd contest?

  67. Dan Elgaard says:

    You might be an Excel nerd, if you always wear Ribbons – party or not :-)

    You might be an Excel nerd, if you’re still waiting for the 65536 x 256 – 1 sequels to the movie, “The Cell”.

    You might be an Excel nerd, if your favorite actor is Val(Kilmer).

    You might be an Excel nerd, if your household finances are run as Macro economy!

    You might be an Excel nerd, if you always does! (Hope this one wasn’t too tricky :-)

    You might be an Excel nerd, if you have a shoutcut to Excel in your “Startup” program group!
    (Maybe I should change this one to: “You’re DEFINATELY an Excel nerd, if…”)

    You might be an Excel nerd, if you’re convinced that the beginning of time was 01.01.1900!

    You might be an Excel nerd, if you’re considering suing Obama for stealing the slogan, “Yes we can”, from your VBA courses!!!

    You might be an Excel nerd, if your wardrope only contains clothes in 54 different color indexes!

    (Well, I could go on like this from ever, but if I win, I’ll promise to make a looooong list :-)

  68. Nick says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you spend 20 minutes writing a VBA procedure to do something you could have done by hand in 2 minutes and don’t think that was a waste of time.

  69. dcardno says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if
    … you deliberately send a softcopy of an analysis – not to inform, but to intimidate
    … you almost cannot function on someone else’s computer without your extensively customized toolbars (pre XL07, of course)
    … you almost cannot function on XL07
    … you participate on help forums, but don’t bother to help on many questions because they just won’t be interesting enough
    … you are baffled when co-workers don’t understand your references to Walkenbach, Peltier, Pieterse, or Bullen when discussing an Excel problem

    Oh, come on – what do we mean might be?

  70. gagner says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if excel is yout favorite query on google; youtube;yahoo; and if you can make pivot table without using your mouse but onley with your keyboard!

  71. Jeff Weir says:

    =CHAR(89) & CHAR(111) & CHAR(117) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(109) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(103) & CHAR(104) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(98) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(97) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(69) & CHAR(120) & CHAR(99) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(108) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(114) & CHAR(100) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(102) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(121) & CHAR(111) & CHAR(117) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(99) & CHAR(97) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(114) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(97) & CHAR(100) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(104) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(115) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(119) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(104) & CHAR(111) & CHAR(117) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(114) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(103) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(116) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(110) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(97) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(99) & CHAR(101) & CHAR(108) & CHAR(108) & CHAR(32) & CHAR(102) & CHAR(105) & CHAR(114) & CHAR(115) & CHAR(116)

  72. Hamilton says:

    You might be an Excel Nerd if you prefer being called “Excel Guru” rather than your name!

  73. Jayson says:

    @Hamilton:
    I much prefer Excel Ninja :)

  74. Nick O-P says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you use one line “for each…next” code in the immediate window.

  75. ShawnL says:

    Hi all,

    Long time lurker here.

    You might be an excel nerd if you see your colleagues’ spreadsheets and thinks…”hmmph…what an amateur”.

  76. Colin Banfield says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you already own a copy of all of the books and utilities offered here as contest giveaways.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you read more Excel books than your spouse read novels.

    You might be an Excel nerd if the first thing you pack for your 3 week Caribbean vacation is your vast collection of Excel books and utilities.

    You might be an Excel nerd if at 1:00 a.m. you camp out at your local bookstore so that you can be first in line to own the just released copy of Excel 2010 PivotTables Recipes.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you sign all your wife’s birthday and Christmas cards “Love from your one and only Excel Sweetie.”

    You might be an Excel nerd if your kids are named Walkenbach, Dalgleish, Peltier, Kusleika, Alexander, Gelder, Bullen, Jelen, Bovey, Pieterse, and Pope (so far).

    You might be an Excel nerd if you sell your Porsche to attend a Peltier/Alexander boot camp.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you own every book written for Excel, dating back to Excel v2.0.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you devote the rest of your life to ensure that your kids attain the status of Excel MVP.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you engrave your 25th anniversary present to your spouse “Love always to you…and Excel.”

    You might be an Excel nerd if you donate your entire lottery windfall to the Excel development team.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you devote an entire room in your house for Excel memorabilia.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you can recall the names of all the developers who worked on Excel v2.0.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you’ve an apologist for Microsoft every time they screw up something in a new release of Excel.

    You might be an Excel nerd (not to mention single) if you skipped your last wedding anniversary celebration to attend the Excel MVP summit.

  77. chip says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if your Windows wallpaper is created in Excel and set up to export and update the image daily.

  78. mark nold says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if…

    when you’re bored you write a bitmap to ActiveSheet renderer…

  79. Matt Lanagan says:


    ‘I could do it in Excel’ – what was the question again?

    if you leave a comment just to be in the running for cool Excel prizes.

  80. Timothy Vandenbussche says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you consider MS Acces to be an Excel-addon to overcome the 65536-rows issue.

  81. David Jessop says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you think that buying the second edition of Professional Excel Development as soon as it comes out for your wife makes a good present.

  82. You might be an Excel nerd if you don’t need any of those books!

  83. Tony Huby says:

    You might be an Excel Nerd if Excel is the olny part of MS Office installed

  84. Gerrit says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if:
    .. you are not interested in the post-processing capacities of your engineering software, as – by default – you will export your results as raw data and write a custom add-in for processing and visualisation.

  85. Gerrit says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if:
    .. you worry that some terrible accident has happened to your favourite MVP when his/her blog is not updated for days without prior notice
    .. your write him/her an email expressing your concern and wishing him/her the best of health and quick recovery
    .. you receive a kind reply not to worry….
    .. you are terrible honoured by this reply and boast around about your contact with the well-known Excel MVP

  86. Gerrit says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if:
    .. you used Excel to calculate the exact day on which your family – that is: summed ages of all family members – equals 100 years old.

  87. Gerrit says:

    You might be an older Excel nerd if:
    .. you used Excel to calculate the exact day on which your family – that is: summed ages of all family members – equals 200 years old.

  88. Gerrit says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if:
    .. you know exactly how (in Excel) *you* would filter the multiple entries in this contest before making the draw

  89. James Jordin says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you view the drive home from work as an inconvenient disruption in your Excel productivity.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you’ve created a Google Custom Search called ‘My Excel Search’.

    You might be an Excel nerd if you’d rather ‘Right Click > Export to Microsoft Excel’ than read it in Internet Explorer*
    (*even if your ‘IT’ department allows you to install Firefox)

  90. Nic says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if:
    in a software company of over 3000 employees, you’re known as the Excel Macro Guy.

  91. Ajay says:

    You are an excel nerd if your wife refers to it as the ‘other’ woman in your life and your dog gives you dirty looks everytime you open a spreadsheet!

  92. Michael Pierce says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you keep Excel 2003 around by choice because of the charting capabilities and can explain why. Bonus points if you’ve written a blog article about it…

    You might be an Excel nerd if you view Excel as your software development platform of choice.

  93. willwonka says:

    I recently received an email from a “you know you are a redneck” daily calendar which said, you know you are a redneck if the name of your children are after Dallas Cowboys. Mine are (Landry and Lilly) so in that same vain.

    You know you are an Excel geek if you name your children after Excel functions. Some of my favorite might be:

    LEN
    MINA (pronounced MEENA similar to Tina)
    ACOS
    HARMEAN
    RAND
    COSH
    DELTA
    ABS
    and maybe the best…

    ERF

  94. Josh Grilly says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if your work won’t allow you to install games, so you write your own in Excel.

  95. Erik Anderson says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if your bedding material has a 1,048,576 by 16,385 grid printed on it and your name in the A1 cell.

  96. Kevin DeWhitt says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you’re *really* attracted to that special someone because “her Excel skills rock…”

  97. Rick Williams says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you’ve set up a ‘game of life’ simulation in Excel… then expanded the formulas to see just how large to can make it before it crashes.

  98. Rick Williams says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you can decode the key sequence: Shift+Space Ctrl+C Up Ctrl++ Alt+E,S,V Shift+Down Alt+O,D.

  99. Rick Williams says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if you have an A3 page on your wall, printed in size 4 font, a comprehensive matrix of all keyboard shortcuts in Excel03/07.

  100. Rick Williams says:

    You might are definately an Excel nerd if you see the real challenge in Sudoku’s as being able to code a solver in Excel.

  101. Elisabeth DeWhitt says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if your spouse enters a contest boasting about your Excel skills.

  102. ikkeman says:

    #71
    what about if you took the effort to put it in a cell becuase you’re so tickled about the entries you can’t even miss the one?

    You’re an excel nerd if you tend to get cross with colleages that omit ,0 from their index(match(,,))

  103. Ryan says:

    You might be an excel nerd if you consider creating your own personal finance software in excel to be not only preferrable to using quicken, but a crowning personal acheivement.

  104. Bruce says:

    You might be an Excel nerd if your class-based error handling is 10x as complex as your application code because of your fear of VBA memory leaks…

  105. Tom says:

    You might be an excel nerd if Daily Dose of Excel is your browser’s home page.

  106. The deadline has passed, and I’m now compiling the lists for the random draw. (You can still add comments — but they won’t be entered in the draw.)

    Thanks for all the entries — I’ve never felt nerdier!
    And I’m still laughing.

    Check here tomorrow, July 29th, for the giveaway winners.